The real life continues....

Just finished a four day stint of managing a pub, something interesting, frustrating, enlightening and damn hard work! Tonight was a hugely busy night and i was responsible for it all.... funny when i think about it as i have been in much more respectable positions of employment but still nothing as intense as working and managing this place. So I am still learning new things so it is all good from where i sit i have to say!

Funny thinking about how the last nine months have evolved... been away from oz since 3rd Feb and so many things have been done in that time and i guess my life is now boring again. Working and in a routine... not much more interest in my travels as the travels have come to a bit of a halt... and then you realise that real life continues... keeps on turning and happening and if you want time to pass, to get 'things' out of the way until you have fun then you really have failed in the game of life i reckon. I am waiting until i get to travel again and i think this is stupid. Every day is a chance for adventure, something new, but i think we all resigne ourselves to surviving through life rather than living it... why do we do this? How do we waste our lives like this???? I hope i dont fall further into the trap of just living for some future period of happiness...

Like now i am happy, slightly lonely and a bit over worked but yet i fell good about where i am... pleasures have become more simple but no less pleasant.... no longer seeing mountain ranges of beauty.... rather a melting pot of people that is nearing some climax... London is a crazy place and I sense something will end here soon.... but then again who knows as this place has seen it all... whole place has been burnt down, been bombed... had plagues etc etc and it keeps on going... to some extent i see london as the western civilizations example of the stuborness of white people... never willing to give up even if the road they are headed down is doomed they will make it work some how even if they dont enjoy it they battle on... crazy bastards i think!

My plans are in the air at the moment.... short term ones anyway, still searching for the office job that wont arrive. Dealing with employment agencies that are full of shite and just making a living and saving here in the pub.... still aiming to stay till June and then travel and hey if i dont save enough to travel i will do it anyway...debt is there to be used if it is used as an investment and i think seeing the middle east and central asia incl China in the next year is an awesome investment... the pay offs may or may not be financial but they will make my mind a stronger and more valuable tool for me to use in experiencing the rest of my life!

Off to do some travel with my mum over the next few days which will be a nice change. Seeing mum is so cool .... has reminded me how much i love my family and how much i will enjoy returning one day to see them... but also has shown me that i need not return tomorrow to avoid missing them... My relationship with my family will always be strong and i can return when i am ready,,,, only one member i dont know yet and i will be home in time to ensure i get to know her intimately before she starts to get too old....

All in all i am happy..... and finally, finally i have done something completely on my own.... and that was what one of the big goals of this trip was... to finally do something on my own, without others influencing it or making it happen... So happy to be an adult of independence....