Goodbye 2005
And so ends what has been the most event filled year of my life thus far so I guess it would be apt of me to do a little summary of what I have achieved/experienced in 2005.
I travelled to fifteen different countries, ate some of the best steak the world has to offer, ate glacial ice, hiked through dust storms with 30kg on my back, climbed a volcano and saw lava up close, had condors fly close over head, swam in thermal pools, listened to Easter mass in Espanol, drank Malbec, went to the driest place on earth, saw pink flamingos, drove a 4wd over salt flats, got lost in the desert, mountain biked down the worlds most dangerous road, climbed ice walls and summitted 6100m, searched for the lost cities of gold at the worlds highest lake, saw Maccupicchu, surfed in northern Peru, jungle trekked in the Amazon, boated down the Amazon on a Hammock, flew in a cargo jet in Colombia, had my first fist fight (with me best friend , yeah Nick you loved it!), went to Cuba (the ‘real’ Cuba!), smoked a Cuban, saw the ‘real’ Cancun, learnt Spanish, hung out on the beaches of Miami, worked in and managed a pub in the UK, got a job with Visa, met a lovely Canadian Opera Singer …… and so much more I probably can’t remember…..
I guess it’s hard to write how I feel about it all now. I live in such a different world to the worlds I have experienced this year. Living in a flat in London in winter doesn’t really bring out the poet in me….
I feel a little lost and alone at the moment I must confess. Being so far from my family and closest friends and having been away from them for so long makes me feel a little numb inside. Like I am holding my breath until I see them again…. I haven’t been too homesick on my travels but when I think of some of the things I have missed out on this year I do get sad. Namely my niece being born and growing up…. I guess that has been the biggest loss of 2005….. What can I say? I guess I regret not being there…. And this Christmas being alone whilst everyone I know (including Nick) will be with their families I do feel a little sorry for myself…. Farah is in Canada with her family, and my family are in Bundanoon right now in the warmth of Australian summer… and here I am going to work and getting home in the dark…. Oh well I will stop the complaining…..
So what have I learnt from 2005…. I could say the typical; that “everything is possible”… and it is true this I have learnt. I know now that you can go anywhere and do anything if you want to… and if you wait long enough your dreams will come true…. I guess patience is something I have learnt and as I sit here it is clearly something I am still learning. I have learnt that the world is not what we think it is… The TV/Books/The Internet are poor substitutes for the real thing. I know that to really have an opinion about something you have to get out there… I have learnt to shut my mouth…. In many occasions… Something I know those close to me in Australia would find hard to believe but it is true…. No more “opinions” about things I have no idea about…..
And for 2006? Well God only knows that one…. A few definite things are: I will work until June 30 in London, I will be in Canada for the 15th July, I will travel to more countries, I will go skiing in January, I WILL go to North Korea, I will … hmmmmm…. Well the rest I don’t know…. So much will change this next year I am sure. Will I continue to fall in love and move to another country to live? Possible…. Will I climb over 7000m? Hope so. Will I see my family? Bloody hope so. Anything is possible…. And those who know me know I hate committing to things so I wont. I will just say that I will be out here doing things not talking about them…. I spent so much of my youth talking so passionately about things but doing so little…. And from experience doing is so so so much better than saying. I have suffered for some of the things I have done but I wouldn’t take them back as they are all part of who I am now….
It’s funny thinking back to when all this started…. Hmmmm was it April 1999 when my direction first left me? Was it going to Nepal and realising that life had so much more to offer than what I was gearing myself towards? Was it the gradual grate of life in Canberra in a painful relationship and a meaningless circular existence achieving little? Was it when I broke up with Emma and fell of the edge of reason? Or was it when I met Lea and found out how fragile and unrealistic love can be? Or was it when I finally got on that plane to Fiji and then the world? Was it my first night in Rio? Was it letting go of control and catching the next bus out of town because I could? So many places I could finger as the beginning of all this…. Well when ever it started I am glad that it happened. I can thank Nick who booked two tickets and the then asked me if I wanted to run away from life with him to find what we both really wanted…What a smart move on his behalf……
I just want my family to know I love them, miss them so much…. And I thank them for understanding that I had to do this. That I had to leave before I lost myself in a life I never really wanted…. Thank you so much!
And for New Years??? Hmmm cold London is a must I have to say. Any resolutions? MUST! Top of them are quitting smoking for the 72nd time, learning French, getting lots of cash saved, being an awesome boyfriend and friend and working hard at work….. Have a great party everyone, enjoy family time and I hope to see some of you next year….
